Staying busy.

What is this statement all about?

Ever since I was a boy I have heard the popular saying of “you have got to stay busy”. I long for extended periods of time, where I do not have to make decisions or help anyone or be busy.  I hate being busy, I want to slouch around and do bugger all thank you.  I actively try not to create projects for myself and yet day in and day out here I am continuously doing things and helping out, many not at my choice and mostly for other people?

So why is this?

Here are the facts.  In my home I have four children and a fiancé. I have no extended family in the local area.  I am part of a team of seven in my office and hold a senior role. I try to keep only a small handful of friends.  In reflection it shouldn’t be hard to stay “un” busy?

The list of “things to do” grows daily and sitting on my butt at home for more than half an hour leaves me with a guilty taste.  In a moment of weakness, I found myself lying down on the couch yesterday in the late afternoon taking a luxurious self-indulging few moments to myself.  I had fallen prey to my pride.  I had just finished a five-hour stint of focusing on my families Sunday outing of parks, prams and cola fueled excitement in the CBD area.  I was proud of my intense effort and rewarded myself with the comfort of our couch.  When I heard my partner walking down the steps into the lounge my instincts told me to “GET UP YOU LAZY BASTARD” so I actually jumped up and tried to look busy, in hope of not scoring another job or increasing my feeling of guilt.

And then I laughed. Because I AM MAN and I’ll do whatever I god damn want to do! Well at least I told myself this in my head, I actually told my partner what I just did and we both laughed.

It really is ridiculous but for some odd reason there is a little voice in me that says “you can do better, move it move it move it, work harder, be more, do more and never stop spreading yourself thin”. Really quite negative but oddly motivating when forever being in catch up mode.  Of which, as an average guy doing average things – I am ok with being in catch up mode all of the time.  Its easier in a way.

I have concluded that it is my right to always try to find the short cut and in fact, I’m really good at it and will continue to hone my craft of short cutting.  I even enjoy this game.

Bring on the busy life.

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